Sometimes, though, the first clue we have about the importance of our actions is through our words. Every parent I know has had the experience of hearing their words or, perhaps even more shocking, their parents’ words come out of their child’s mouth. The words are merely a clue that serves to alert us to pay attention to our children’s behavior and to notice the subtleties in how they act. And, sure enough, we see ourselves, with all our moods and gestures, our attitudes and body language, played out for us by our children.

No, I don’t think our children use our words to learn about life. I think the words are just so much sound and noise. It’s our actions, our behavior, the little things we do each day that teach our children. Looking at some people and turning our backs to others. Borrowing without asking. Saying something we don’t mean. Pretending we feel one way when we feel another. Spanking a child for hitting. Screaming at a child to be quiet.